Don t combine buddies and new lovers You have a friend with a pad in Manhattan who s been begging you to come and stay. Bring your new girlfriend , he says. You guys will have the best time here. No you won t. not if you ve never been away together before and you want to spend a lot of time catching up with your old buddy. They might like each other and get along fine, but a first time holiday is about romance, and you re not going to get that when you re trying to divide your time and attention between a friend and a lover.
Perhaps neither of you is the romantic type and you re both quite keen on the idea of going away with other people. If these are mutual friends, no problem, but going away to meet someone whom only one of you knows isn't a good idea, don t do it if it's the first time the two of you will be spending time together.
You might also discover when on holiday that that one of you is more sociable that the other. She wants to invite those two couples you met on the train to join you for dinner; all you want to do is spend time alone with her. These are things you can t predict. All you can do is reasonably explain your desire to socialize or your objections to talking to strangers and try to reach a compromise.
If it all goes wrong.- There is no way to guarantee that your first holiday together will be fight free, but you can stop fights from turning your holiday into a nightmare. It may sound stilted, but if you can face up to it, talk about how you ll deal with fights before you go away. Make a pact that neither of you will storm out, even if it means spending three days in silence. There s nothing more mortifying than returning home alone. Having the staying power to see it through gives you time to get over fights.
If all else fails then remember to;
Always keep your own passport and ticket if she leaves with your documents, you re going to look an idiot in a foreign place.